Too Much Caffeine
by G-girl Venus
Summary: Hehehe... ... it's just what the title sounds like, Duo needs to study for a test.
1. Pre Caffeine

_**Too Much Caffeine**_ part 1

**Disclaimers:** All associated with Gundam Wing is not mine. No matter how hard I wish. 

**Warning~** This is what comes from lack of sleep and WAY too much coffee. yaoi, 1x2, 3x4 

G-girl~ Usagi contributed much to this story. It was basically her idea and I just wrote it down. To be more precise, she said this one line and the whole story just evolved around it........ you can guess which one. We'll tell you at the end.

Usagi~ :insane giggling: 

G-girl~ Stop that!!! You're creeping me out!!!!

Usagi~ But it's soooooo funny!!!!!! We're geniuses!!!! 

Duo~ I think you guys are messed up.

G-girl~ Enough!! We can do this after the story!! Let me type Damn it!!!!! Now, on with the story!!!!

Sitting in French class, (Yes French. Just accept it. It's like the only language they don't speak. Besides....... you'll see.) Heero was trying his damnist to pay attention to the teacher, after all there was a final the next day. Duo, however, didn't seem to care. The American boy was asleep, his head nestled in his arms, his snoring the cause of Heero's inability to pay attention.

Finally, out of frustration, Heero poked his lover in the side.

"Gah!!" Duo immediately reacted, tumbling out of his chair.

The entire class turned to look.

"Mmm......Heero......," Duo mumbled still asleep, "God...... wasn't ten times enough???"

Heero then responded with a swift kick to the braided American.

Quatre squeaked.

Trowa rolled his one visible eye. 

Wufei desperately tried to hold off the approaching nosebleed.

The rest of the class erupted with laughter.

Duo slowly began to wake up.

"Huh?....... wha.....?," Duo looked up groggily to see his koi wearing one of the scariest Yuy Death glares™ he had ever seen.

Not that it phased him.

"Monsieur Maxwell!" the shout from the small mousy French teacher cut off any sound in the room. "(In French) What is the meaning of this!"

Duo stumbled to his feet, "Uh...um....." he pointed to Heero in a moment of sheer panic, "He did it!"

Correction, now Duo was looking at the scariest Yuy Death Glare™ he had ever seen. 

"Monsieur Yuy?" the teacher peered over her black rimmed glasses.

"(In fluent French) He was a distraction. I dealt with it."

Duo sweatdropped, followed by the rest of the class.

"(In French) I see." the small woman turned her attention back to Duo, "After class."

Duo hung his head, he could handle fifty mobile suits by himself easy, but this woman, that was a whole different story.

Usagi~ French people are scary!

G-girl~ How many French people do you know?!

Usagi~ :thinking: Um.... none, but I know they are! :G-girl whacks Usagi over the head: Itai!!!!

G-girl~ Let me get back to typing.

Usagi~ :Rubbing head: I was just commenting on my sympathies for poor Duo....

G-girl~ Whatever.

******

Forty five minutes after class Duo walked out of the classroom, hands behind his head. He sighed, "Damn woman, does she honestly think I understood any of that?" He glanced down the hall a ways. There he saw Heero leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest, eyes closed. Quatre and Trowa were talking, well.....Quatre was talking to Trowa, and Wufei was silently reading.

Quatre, noticing Duo, turned to his friend. "Wow Duo, you must have made her really angry. You were in there for a long time."

Duo shrugged it off. "It was Heero's fault anyway." he looked over at his lover, "Why'd ya hafta go an' wake me up?"

Heero opened one eye and looked at Duo, not saying anything, his face expressionless.

"We do have a final tomorrow Maxwell." Wufei said, not looking up from his book.

Duo grunted in response.

Heero pushed himself away from the wall and started off towards the dorms, still not saying anything to Duo. The others soon followed suit.

Duo watched as his fellow pilots walked away, their forms getting smaller and smaller. "God... Who put a stick up your ass?" An evil grin emerged on his face, "Oh wait... that was me." The grin grew wider. "Hey Hee-chan wait up!!!" He took off down the hall.

Usagi~ G-girl!!??

G-girl~ I did NOT write that!!

Usagi~ :looks at G-girl skeptically: Then _who_ did?!

Duo~ :snicker:

G-girl~ WHAT?! Who gave you permission to write?! :Chases after Duo:

Usagi~ :sweatdrop:: I guess I'll keep typing...

******

In the dorm hallway, Quatre and Trowa silently broke away from the group, entering the room they shared. The other three continued down the hall. Heero stopped short in front of his and Duo's door and turned to face his obnoxious lover. He stood face to face with Duo, close enough to kiss, but Duo knew he was way too pissed off to do any of that affectionate stuff.

G-girl~ :out of breath: How can you type faster than me?! You only use six fingers!!

Usagi~ I'm sorry! Can I continue?

G-girl~ Please.

Wufei continued down the hall quickly ( Is he power walking??)

Duo gulped, "Uh... Hey Hee-chan. Wassup?"

Heero narrowed his eyes, "Duo, if you don't pass that French exam tomorrow, you won't be getting any... ... ...(dramatic pause)... ... ...for a month." 

Duo just stood there, mouth open, taking in the threat that had just been dealt, as Heero entered their room and closed the door behind him.

Duo did a double take as the information finally set in. "NANI?!"

"You heard me." came the reply from the other side of the door.

The American boy stared at the door for a moment completely silent. (Remember I said a moment. Duo doesn't stay quiet for long.)

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!!!"

"Watch me."

"You'll never be able to hold out that long!! You're hornier that I am!!!"

Heads began to poke out (Not like that!) from dorm rooms (Hentais...)

"Duo, no one is hornier than you." the simply stated muffled reply came.

"... ... ...Yeah, but... ... ..You're pretty damn close!"

The other dorm doors slowly closed in synchronized creaking.

"Better get studying Duo." 

The chestnut haired boy folded his arms across his chest and looked down the hall a ways, spotting Wufei's door at the end of the hall.

An evil grin spread across his face.

"Fine then. Wufei's been looking a little lonely lately."

The door to the Chinese boy's room suddenly flew open revealing a very angry looking Wufei. 

"Kisama!! What did you say!?!?"

"You heard me." Duo wiggled his eyebrows at the Shenlong pilot. 

The nosebleed began.

Wufei promptly turned, slamming the door behind him. Fumbling could be heard from inside the room, along with cursing in both Chinese and English.

Duo snickered to himself. Then he remembered why he was standing outside his room.

"What do you think of that Heero?!"

"I don't care."

The Deathscythe pilot grumbled in frustration. "You just defeated the entire purpose of me giving Wufei a nosebleed!!" He pouted for a few moments, before beginning to pound on the door. "Alright Heero enough!! Let me in!!! I promise I'll study!!!!"

"Duo, the door is not locked."

The yelling stopped short.

Duo turned the door knob and the door slowly swung open, emitting a high pitched squeak. "Oh." 

He stepped in and flopped on his bed, burring his face in his pillow listening to the sound of Heero's constant typing. 

After a few minutes, Duo turned his head to look at his Koi. "You're serious, aren't you?" No response. "I'll take that as a yes." He turned his face back into the pillow, "K'so." He pushed himself up slowly, making sure it sounded like a lot of effort. He stood up and began the long trek to the closet. As he walked, dragging his feet, he slowly got lower and lower toward the floor so that by the time he reached his destination, he was on his hands and knees. With an exasperated grunt, he pushed the sliding door to the side and began to chuck things out of the closet in his search.

Things such as shoes, socks, boxers, hair products (obviously Duo's), CDs, mangas (Duo's also, except the Pokémon one... ... ...you heard me.), Peanut butter (smooth, not crunchy), rope, handcuffs,

Usagi~ G-girl... ... why would they have handcuffs in their closet?

G-girl~ Never mind. Just keep typing.

edible underwear (::blush::), body paint, lacy red lingerie, a book of "How to...

Usagi~ I am NOT typing that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

G-girl~ Fine! I was getting carried away anyway. My turn to type.

Heero looked over to see only Duo's feet peeking out of the closet. As he watched their belongings (kinky and non) fly out into the room, a leather thong landed on his head (Oops.). He removed the offending article, smirking as he looked at it, then at Duo's luscious ass.

*SNAP!*

"Itai!!" Duo yelled, rubbing his rear end. He glanced behind him, "What the hell was that?!"

Heero returned to his typing, smirk apparent.

Duo gave his best impression of the Yuy Death Glare™. 

After a few moments the braided boy blinked a few times, then sat down. He scratched his head, "What was I doing again?" 

"French book."

Duo got a puzzled, look on his face, "French book? Why would I be looking for that?"

Heero would have face-faulted, but he doesn't do stuff like that. "Sex."

"Oh yeah!" Duo dived head first into the closet.

G-girl~ Trying to type while your action figure Duo is dancing to the music of Operation 2 on the keyboard is quite impossible... ... ... ... taking a break to beat up Usagi-chan.

Usagi~ EEP!!! Leave me alone!!! ::running away:: I'm sorry!! I was getting bored with you typing so slow!!!

G-girl~ Grrr!! ::chases after Usagi::

A half an hour later...

"Ah HAH!" Duo backed out of the closet, pulling a book with him. He sat down to read the title, "American Lit.. ...nope. That's not French." The book joined the pile of other things in the middle of the room. Duo returned to the closet.

A few minutes and a dozen books later, "Geometry." It too joined the enormous pile, "Hee-chan, that was the last one!"

Without ceasing the typing Heero kicked a book over towards Duo. Duo picked up the book.

"French.. ... .. ... ... ... ...Oh!... ... ...Cool!" He stood up and walked over to his desk, setting the book down on his bed. With one swoop, he brushed numerous papers, soda cans, and candy wrappers off the surface of the desk. He sat down and stared down at the book, "Okay, French, gotta study French, gotta pass, 'F' equals no sex, okay, here I go... ... ..." He tried to open the book, but the cover wouldn't budge. (::giggle::) "What the HELL!? Is there to some sort of French secret to opening books I don't know about or something?!"

"Plastic, Duo."

The braided boy looked down at the book, noticing now the plastic covering. "Oh." He began to peel it off. 

******

8:00pm

Heero shut down his computer and turned in his chair to look at his studious lover. Duo's head was propped up in his left hand.

Heero could hear Duo's mumbling, "Okay... ...French... ...gotta study... ...gotta pass... ...gotta get some... ..."

The Japanese boy stood and walked over to the American, he placed a hand on Duo's shoulder and looked down at the French book. 'Chapter One' could be seen in big bold letters at the top of the page. Heero looked down at the other boys face. A small trail of drool could be seen running down his chin and his eyes were closed. Asleep.

Heero scowled, he reached down and tugged on the chestnut colored braid. 

Duo's head slid out of his hand at the sudden jolt, his head slammed down on the book in front of him.

"ITAI!!" The braided boy awoke startled, he looked up groggily at his koibito, "Wha.. ... ...?" 

Heero turned and started towards his own bed, "I'm going to sleep." Duo watched as Heero pulled his tank top over his head and tossed it aside. (G-girl, stop drooling.) Duo began to drool again. (::sweatdrop::) 

Heero then went into the small bathroom and emerged a few minutes later in nothing but a pair of boxers. 

Usagi~ G-girl!!! You're getting me wet!!!

G-girl~ ::keeps drooling::

The Deathscythe pilot continued to stare.

Heero climbed into his bed and turned his back to Duo, "Keep studying." 

Duo pouted, wanting so bad to climb into bed too... ...and not his own.

A soft knock was heard at the door.

"It's open."

Quatre popped his head in (Yay Quatre!!!!!) and looked at Duo, "Hey Duo, would you like some coffee?" he held out a medium sized cup. 

"Never touched the stuff." Duo relpied, "Sister Helen said it would stunt my growth."

Heero snickered, "She probably just told you that because she knew you were hyperactive."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"But you said... ..."

"No I didn't. I'm asleep."

"Oh... ... ..." Duo began to look back at the French book, then snapped his head back up to look at his lover's back. "Hey!! I'm not that stupid!!!"

Heero snorted.

"Uh... ...okay... Anyway," Quatre turned to Duo, "I just thought you would like some, since you have such a long night of studying ahead of you."

"How'd you know?" Duo asked turning in his chair.

"You were yelling pretty loud," Quatre blushed, "I think everyone knows your.. ... ... ...situation."

Duo burst out laughing.

"I'm glad you find that humorous Duo. That was you won't whine at me during your month of abstinence." 

The laughing stopped.

Quatre, suddenly missing Trowa incredibly, "Well, here's the coffee!" He went to hand it to his braided friend. 

"No coffee."

"What?" Duo and Quatre asked in unison.

"No coffee." Heero repeated.

"But Heero... ..." Quatre started to argue. (Ooooh... Quatre feelin' brave tonight!) 

"No coffee. You give him the coffee, and I'll kill you."

G-girl~ ::in a mocking voice:: Don't hurt Quatre!

Usagi~ HEY!!! Don't make fun of me!!!!

G-girl~ Gomen. Couldn't resist.

Quatre, no longer able to stand being a way from his koi, and knowing the Japanese boy's track record for carrying out his death threats, started to move towards the door. "Okay, fine." Checking to make sure Heero's back was still turned, he slowly put the cup of caffeinated goodness on the floor by the door. (That rhymes!!) He mouthed to Duo, "It's right here..."

Duo gave him a slow mafia nod. (You know what I'm talking about, that really, really slow nod... .... ...it's creepy!)

His self control quickly giving out, the small Arabian opened the door. "Well, good luck Duo." With that he went out into the hall, slowly closing the door behind him. His light footsteps could be heard slowly getting faster and faster, followed by the slamming of his door. (::giggle:: He's so cute!!!)

Duo arched an eyebrow.

"Well, at least _someone's _getting some around here." No response came from Heero. "You asleep?" No answer. "Yes!" Duo's eyes lit up at the realization of his opening.

The American boy slowly stood up and made his way to the coffee, not making too much noise, not making to little noise as to not wake up his lover.

He picked up the cup and took a sip. It was good. Very good. The cup was quickly polished off, and quickly took affect.

Now with his new caffeine induced energy, Duo sat down to study again.

******

end part one.

G-girl~ ::insane giggling::

Usagi~ ::slowly backing away:: STOP!! You're creeping me out!!!!

Duo~ ::joins the giggling::

Usagi~ ::close to tears:: Please!!!

G-girl~ Gomen nasai!! It seems the caffeine is effecting me too!!

Duo~ ::giggling gets worse::

Usagi~ ::points at Duo:: Look what you did!

G-girl~ What _I _did?! This story is half yours!!!

Usagi~ ::blink blink:: ... ... ..SO! ::points at the hysterically laughing Duo, who is now rolling on the floor:: But _you_ did _that_!!!

G-girl~ ... ... ... ... ...FINE!! I wanted the credit anyway!

Usagi~ Fine!

G-girl~ Fine!

Usagi~ Fine!

G-girl~ FINE!

Heero~ SHUT UP!! I'm trying to sleep!!!

G-girl and Usagi~ ::whispering:: Gomen... ...

G-girl~ ::kicks Duo:: Be quiet!! You can't wake him up 'till the next part!

Duo~ ::clamps his hands over his mouth, trying to muffle his giggles::

Usagi~ I love the next part!!! More Quatre!!

G-girl~ You make me sick!

Usagi~ ::glare::

G-girl~ ::ignoring Usagi:: Okee-day. Tell us what you think.

Usagi~ Fine. ::crosses arms:: A certain author won't be getting any new pictures of certain people from a certain artist sitting next to a certain author...

G-girl~ I was just trying to wrap things up!!! Again, tell us what you think.

On to Part 2

Comments??:

Back to Fics


	2. Post Caffeine

**_Too Much Caffeine _**part 2

**Disclaimers~** Not Mine.

**Warnings~** same as part one. Immense silliness ahead.......

8:45pm

Duo banged frantically on Quatre and Trowa's door. "Help! Quatre!! Quatre!!! Open the door!!!" The banging continued until the wood began to creek from the force. Suddenly the door swung open.

"What's wrong?! Is it OZ?!?!" Quatre stood in the doorway looking up and down the hall frantically.

Duo's eyes went wide as he took in the sight in front of him. (Tee hee hee... ...Quatre!!) Quatre's blonde hair was all tousled, his face was flushed. It's new shade of red contrasting with his usually more pale complexion. His chest heaved up and down as if he was out of breath. The American arched an eyebrow as he realized his friend's pastel pink boxers were on backwards. (::drool::)

G-girl~ That's disgusting! You don't drool over Quatre! You drool over Heero!!!!!!

Usagi~ ... ..Umm...

G-girl~ Defend yourself.. ..quickly!

Usagi~ Hey!! I love Quatre!!! If Heero was so cool.. _why_ hasn't he killed Relena yet!! ::sticks out tongue::

G-girl~ ... ... ... ...That was low.

Usagi~ I'm sorry. I just love Quatre!!! He's so cute!!! 

G-girl~ You do realize the implications of the previous paragraph, don't you?

Usagi~ ::blink blink:: I was the one who thought up that paragraph! I love Quatre and Trowa!! They make the CUTEST couple.

G-girl~ ::giving Usagi a strange look:: You're sick. Keep typing.

Usagi~ _I'm _the sick one?! okay Miss "Who put a stick up your ass"!!!

G-girl~ THAT WAS DUO!!! TYPE!!

"Quatre, tell him to go away." the Latin pilot's voice came from the dark room.

Duo's face adopted a look of puzzlement for a few seconds while a mental image slowly came together. The look of puzzlement soon changed to one of disbelief. He couldn't imagine the sweet Arabian boy and the quiet Latin doing the things that he and Heero did. A thought crossed his mind. /OH! French! Gotta pass, gotta get some, need... ... ...COFFEE!!! /

Quatre's blush grew more red as he watched his friend's face. "Uh... ...What do you want Duo?"

The question snapped the braided pilot out of his thoughts. He remembered why he had come.

He turned the coffee cup upside down and made a face that was a combination of distress and... ...sadness? No that's not quite the word, it was mostly distress. Pointing to the now empty cup he said, "No more coffee."

Quatre sweatdropped. He slowly lifted a finger to point to the coffee machine down the hall. (Yes. There is a coffee machine in the dorms. If you need a reason: petitions are wonderful things. Besides, for this story to continue Duo needs an endless supply of coffee. So deal with it.) 

Angelic voices could be heard singing as Duo's violet eyes fell upon the glorious machine. His eyes lit up and a grin spread from ear to ear. 

He was down the hall in less than a second.

The Arabian shook his head, then remembered what had been interrupted. The door was closed and Quatre was gone quicker than it had taken Duo to get to the coffee machine.

The American stood in front of the coffee machine. His frustration grew as no matter how many buttons he pushed, none resulted in producing any coffee in his cup. (Are you crying G-girl?)

After a short staring contest with the machine, which the machine won, Duo put his hands down at his sides and took a deep breath. "Okay Duo, you can do this." He rubbed his temples, "Coffee is at stake here... ...sex is at stake here! No. Don't get yourself all worked up. (Like he isn't already.) What would Heero do?" He thought for a moment, "He'd blow it up, but that would result in no coffee. Won't work. What would Trowa do? This stupid thing wouldn't dare do this to Trowa. Hmmm... ... ...Wufei would probably scream about 'injustice' and hit with his katana... ...Oh...........but I don't _have_ a katana! And there's no way I'm even gunna try stealing his." He moved his hands to his hips, "So that leaves Quatre... ... ..." Suddenly the light bulb went on, "HE'D PAY IT!!!" Very proud of himself, he began his search for his wallet. The realization soon came over him, his eyes began to well up with tears, "I don't _have_ any money!!!!!!" After a good solid two minutes of crying, the thought of no coffee and no sex became so over whelming that the American pilot suddenly suffered a violent mood swing.

His violet eyes narrowed, glaring at the offending machine. Duo drew back his foot and kicked it forward with incredible force...

...and missed completely.

The tail bone is really a very sensitive place. 

"ITAI!!!" Tears streamed down his face. Still crying, he slowly rolled over on to his stomach. He slowly pulled himself across the floor and down the hall. "Quatre...!" the coffee deprived boy reached the door of his friends' room. He collapsed at the foot of the door, continuing to moan and groan through the very small space between the floor and the door. "Quatre... ...I can't get any coffee! I need money!... ... ...Quatre!!"

"Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away." Trowa's whispered voice could be heard though the door. (::hysterical laughter::) (::hysterical laughter::) 

"Trowa, that's not nice.," Quatre's softly scolding voice soon followed.

The moaning and groaning and crying continued.

"Come on guys, please... ...?! Do you realize how sexy Heero is?! (Um... ohhh yeah... ::falls on floor::) (::pokes G-girl with her foot:: okeee then...) I'll never be able to take it if I don't pass this test!!! I _need_ coffee!!!!!" His tears continued to soak the floor. Suddenly, something flew out from under the door and hit Duo in the nose. "Itai!" he rubbed his nose, "What was..." The object was recognized as a credit card. A smile spread across the American's face. "Thanks!!" He grabbed the card and scrambled to his feet, before taking off down the hall.

On the other side of Quatre and Trowa's door you can hear,

"Well, now that the mood's been completely ruined... I'm going to sleep."

"What?! Trowa! That's not fair!" 

Usagi~ Poor Quatre!! ::glare:: It's all Duo's fault!! Maybe he should fail that test!

G-girl~ That's uncalled for. Now type, my favorite part is next.

Usagi~ Really? Which one? ::reads ahead:: Oh!! Mine too!! I remember when we made that up!!

G-girl~ Okay, okay! Just type.

******

1:00am

"Heero... ... ...Heero, Heero... ... ... ...Hey... ... ... Hey Heero... ... ...Heero... ...Come on... ... ...Wake up... ... ...Heero... ... ... ... ...Heero... ..." Duo sat at on the edge of Heero's bed poking him in the shoulder. "Hey... ... ...Heero... ... ... ...Heero... ... ... ... ...Hee- AHHHHHHHH!!!" A hand suddenly sprang up and grabbed Duo's finger. "ITAI!! Heero! You're gunna brake it!"

"That's not all I'm going to break." He slowly rolled over onto his back to look at his koi. He was slightly surprised to see that Duo was still in his school uniform. But of course the larger than normal grin and slightly glazed over eyes were what really alarmed him. "Quatre gave you that coffee, didn't he?"

Duo yanked his hand out of Heero's grasp and stood up placing his hands on his hips. "I've been sworn to secrecy!"

Heero rolled over, "...I'm going to kill him." (Yeah, yeah, most likely Heero would go kill Quatre right now, but that would ruin the story... besides, it's one o'clock in the morning, even the Perfect Soldier needs a good nights sleep.) 

Duo jumped back onto the bed, "Wait!!! You can't go back to sleep!!!" 

"Why not?"

" 'Cause... Knock Knock!" Heero didn't respond. "Knock Knock!!!" Still no response. The caffeine intoxicated teen shoved the Perfect Soldier, "Come _on_ Heero!!!! Knock Knock!!!!!!!!"

Heero rolled over once more, and propped himself up on his elbows. He narrowed his eyes, "I do not know the proper response to that."

Duo rolled his eyes and sighed, "You're _supposed_ to say 'Whose there?' "

"I'm not saying that."

"Come on!!!"

"Aren't you supposed to be studying right now?"

"I did study, see? Omlette du fromage. Je suis la jeune fille. Qui à coupè la fromage. See? I did study! Now come on!! Knock Knock."

"If I cooperate, will you leave me alone and let me go back to sleep?"

"Yup! Knock Knock."

Heero sighed, "Whose there?"

"Interrupting Moose."

"What was the point of that?"

"It's not over yet! You're supposed to go, 'Interrupting Moose who?' "

"Why?"

"_Because!_ Now try again! Knock Knock."

Heero collapsed onto his bed, and threw his arm over his eyes, "Who's there?"

"Interrupting Moose." Duo was beginning to bounce with excitement.

"Interrupting Moos-"

"**MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **Duo fell off the bed laughing.

The Japanese boy turned his head and looked at the boy rolling around hysterically on the floor. It was then that he saw the thousands of Styrofoam cups (all with the Maxwell House trademark on them) that were strewn about their dorm room. He rolled over groaning, "It's going to be a _long_ month." He thought for a second, "And Quatre's death will be slow and painful."

G-girl~ ::hysterical laughing:: Oh.. My... God... That's too funny! 

Usagi~ ::hysterical laughing:: I know!! We're geniuses!!

G-girl~ ::clutching her sides in pain:: I love Heero!!!!!! He didn't know how to play 'Knock Knock'!!

Usagi~ I can't breath!!! ::hysterical laughter continues::

G-girl~ You'd better calm down Usagi... the men in white coats are coming...

Usagi~ Yay!! the good Humor men are coming?

G-girl~ ::stares at her friend oddly for a second:: Umm... ...yeah... That's it! Go get some ice cream!

Usagi~ Yay!! ::bounces away::

G-girl~ Oh shit.... ... ...now I have to type...

******

5:45 am

Wufei walked down the hall, (Gomen nasai ahead of time.) in his normal attire wiping his forehead with a towel as he returned from his early morning Kata. He stopped a few feet from his door. Something was wrong. 

He approached the door slowly, readying himself for what might be on the other side. The Chinese boy twisted the door knob and the door slowly swung open. 

There in the center of the floor sat Duo Maxwell, clad only in his black boxers with shiny red hearts all over them. He was singing, (like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls) "Coloring, coloring, and then some green! and then some blue! Coloring, coloring!"

"MAXWELL!!!"

Duo turned his head quickly to look at Wufei. He had a green crayon tucked behind his left ear, a blue one in his hand, and a red one between his lips. His eyes went wide at the realization he had been caught, and his jaw dropped allowing the red crayon to fall the floor. "Uhh... ... ...Hey Wu-man!"

"Maxwell I demand to know what you are doing in _my _room!" 

Duo held up the blue crayon innocently, "Jài un crayon."

"WHAT?!" Wufei was furious. 

The still hyper American boy shook his head slowly, "You're gunna fail that test today Wu-man." He stood up and pat the fuming boy on the shoulder, "Jané." He walked out of the room. 

Wufei crossed his arms and looked down at where the intruder had been sitting. He noticed the color pictures that were once black and white. He exploded,

"KISAMA!! Those are ancient Chinese texts!!"

"Oh shit." The quick curse could be heard from the hallway. Duo raised his arms and took off down the hall like a bat out of Hell. (Heh heh.. get it?) "Whoosh!!!"

Wufei quickly gave chase.

Duo sped down the hall (still flying). A familiar door soon came into view, he skidded to a halt in front of Quatre and Trowa's room forgetting the immediate danger he was in. In one fluid motion he kicked open the door, placed his hands on his hips and stuck out his chest. "Je suis la jeune fille!!!"

"Kisama!!!"

The violet eyed boy snapped his head to the side to see Wufei quickly closing in. "Shit!" He took off once more, "Whoosh!!"

Quatre and Trowa just stared, not completely understanding what was going on as Wufei sped past their door.

Duo continued to 'fly' down the hall when suddenly he felt a sharp tug on his braid. For the second time in twelve hours, Duo's tail bone really hurt. 

Usagi~ ::licking her ice cream:: hiya! what'd I miss?

G-girl~ Where the Hell did you get Ice cream? They weren't _really _Good Humor Men!

Usagi~ ::blink blink:: Really? ::shrug:: oh well...

G-girl~ .. ... ...You are the cause of most of my headaches... ... ...

Usagi~ ::pout:: Really? ::thinks for a little bit:: Want some ice cream? ::holds out ice cream::

G-girl~ Uh... I'd rather not.

Usagi~ ::freaking out suddenly:: I MISSED DUO SINGING LIKE BUBBLES!! THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART!!!

G-girl~ That's what you get for running off with strange men for ice cream.

Usagi~ ::pout::

******

There was a loud knocking at the door as Heero buttoned up his shirt. (::cry::) He glanced up at the door as loud shout came from the other side. 

"Yuy! Open this door!"

"It's open.," he replied what the Chinese boy could possibly want so early in the morning. 

The door swung open with immense force and a certain braided pilot was heaved into the room, lading face down on the floor with a thud. 

"ITAI!!... ...Why does everyone keep picking on me!?... ..."

"I believe this is yours.," Wufei stated, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. "It was in my room defiling my belongings."

Heero stared down at his partner who was still whining on the floor. "I'll deal with him. Apologize Duo."

"But he was mean to me!!! I was only trying to help!!" Heero raised an eyebrow.

"Shouldn't you keep him locked in a cage or something?! It's very irresponsible to let him run a muck when he's like this." 

"I said, I'll deal with him." (Oh no! Heero's repeated himself!) 

Not completely satisfied, but quite sure that if he stayed any longer things would turn very unpleasant, Wufei left. 

The Perfect Soldier glared down at Duo who had now thrown himself into a giggle fit on the floor. "Duo... ..."

"I know!! I know!! Omea o korosu!," he said mockingly 

The glare continued, but so did the giggling. "Duo... ...get up."

"Okay Hee-chan!" He rolled over onto his back. Suddenly he became alarmed. "Ahhh!!! Help!!! Heero I can't see!!!!"

"Open your eyes Baka."

The American pilot did so, then smiled relieved. "I can see!!"

Heero kicked one of the remaining coffee cup at his lover's head, hitting him square on. "Clean this up. I'm going to breakfast." He walked out of the room leaving Duo on the floor.

******

The dinning hall wasn't very full at six o'clock in the morning, as the four pilots all sat around a circular table. 

Trowa was quietly eating his bagel.

Wufei sipped his tea.

Heero took a bite of his peanut butter toast. (yum!)

Quatre was at the receiving end of three death glares as he stared down at his plate of eggs.

The small blond cautiously lifted his head and gave a pleading look to his koibito. One emerald eye narrowed. Quatre's eyes began to tear. "What? You guys, why are you all mad? What did I _do_?" (Leave Quatre alone!! You made him cry!! I hate you!! ::rant rant::) (I feel a headache coming on.)

The others all opened their mouths to answer when, a very hyper, very loud, very much skipping Deathscythe pilot hurried up to their table. 

He jumped up onto their table, coffee and chocolate chip cookies in hand. "Omlette du fromage!!!!" The remaining cookies were then shoved into the American's mouth followed by the rest of the coffee. Duo jumped over Heero's head, landed not-so-gracefully on the floor, and zipped out of the room.

They returned their glances to Quatre.

"I'm sorry! I was trying to be nice!!"

******

Heero, Wufei, Trowa and Quatre stood out in the hall once again waiting for Duo. 

The American had been sent to the Dean's office numerous times that day. The school was buzzing about the new school record. It had been only after two hours of pleading that the hyper boy was allowed to take the French exam.

So now, they were waiting.

"I can't believe that Duo actually convinced Madame to correct his test now.," Quatre commented looking at the door. They all remained silent. "Hey! It's not like _I _didn't suffer too! _And_ I've lost 200 credits from his little binge!!"

Wufei snorted. "Yes, but you brought it upon yourself. I have done nothing to deserve what I've been through... ... ... ... ... ...Injustice!!!!"

"Well, if_ Heer_o hadn't made that threat... ... ..." (Wow... Quatre's feelin' brave again... Kudos!)

The Japanese pilot opened his mouth to say something, when the door to the classroom burst open. Duo stood triumphantly in the doorway, he left arm outstretched holding his exam. in the upper right hand corner of the page a large, red 69 had been marked.

The others stared in amazement. 

"HA! Take THAT!!!" Duo smirked, "Attache moi Hee-chan!!!!!" With that he grabbed the stunned boy by the wrist and dragged him off. 

The Shenlong pilot shook his head, "Hentai no Baka." He turned and walked away in the opposite direction.

Quatre, after a few painstaking moments, threw his arms around the Latin boy's waist. "Aishiteru Trowa, please forgive me?"

The green eyes boy began to walk off in the direction of the dorms. The Sandrock pilot stared in disbelief.

"You're supposed to follow.," Trowa called back, not stopping. The small blonde's face suddenly lit up and he took off down the hall after his koi.

Owari

"HOLD IT!!" Chase stomped into view. "All that fun and I missed it!!!!" She shook her head. "Damn it... ...Oh well, at least I had _some _excitement last night... ::evil grin::" She held up photos of a certain Chinese boy in a tutu.

Okay, we swear now... Owari

Usagi~ How did Chase get in this story!!??

G-girl~ She has a mind of her own and a gun... ... are _you_ going to argue with her?

Usagi~ N-no... ... 

G-girl~ I didn't think so.

Usagi~ ::*yawn*:: G-girl... it's 2:45 am... let's have some Coffee!!

G-girl~ NO WAY! We have graduation rehearsal in the morning and _you_ wanted to stay up and type this!!

Usagi~ ::pout:: fine...

Chase~ ::running around in circles:: Wufei dances ballet!!

Wufei~ Onna!

Chase~ Wufei's a Ballerina!!!

Usagi~ ::*a-hem*:: Wouldn't he be a ballerin_**o**_ ?

Wufei~ Say that again... ...

G-girl~ Heh heh, 'ballerino' sounds like a Pokémon... ...!

Usagi~ ::hysterical laughter:: Wufei's a Pokémon!! ::throws a randomly appearing Pokéball at Wufei.. hitting him on his forehead:: Why didn't he go into my Pokéball?

G-girl~ ::staring down at Wufei's unconscious body:: You're digging your grave Usagi....

Chase~ ::Stares at her nemesis:: ... .... ...that's my job.

G-girl~ ::turns to Usagi:: I hope you can run fast.

Usagi~ ::Shaking Pokéball by her ear:: Maybe I already have a Pokémon in there... _that's _why I couldn't catch Ballerino... hmm...

Chase~ ::boiling with anger::

G-girl~ I take this opportunity to censor the violence that comes next to protect the innocent.

Chase~ You can't censor this!

G-girl~ Yes I can.

Usagi~ Censor what?

G-girl~ ::rubs head feeling a headache coming on.:: Never mind Chase, go ahead...

Chase~ ::advances toward her prey::

Usagi~ ::eyes widen as she realizes what's going on:: AH! ::turns super deformed and runs away:: QUATRE!! SAVE ME!!!

G-girl~ Are you delusional? Do you honestly think Quatre can stand against Chase?

Usagi~ ::yelling too loudly to hear G-girl:: Please Chase!! You're my HERO!!!

Chase~ How DARE you compare me to my brother!

Usagi~ I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THA-AT!! ::cries hysterically::

G-girl~ I'm seriously ending this now. It's longer than after the Snow Adventure... ...

**Note:** Definitions of French phrases:

Je suis ls jeune fille~ I am the young girl

Omlette du fromage~ Cheese omelet

Qui à coupè la fromage?~ Who cut the cheese?

Jai un crayon~ I have the pencil

Attache moi~ Tie me up

**Note2: ** Did anyone guess what part it was that this entire story sprang from? Well, it was this part~

**"Ahhh!!! Help!!! Hero I can't see!!!!"

"Open your eyes Baka." ** It's the truth. That line did it all.... ... in fact, it was Usagi who said that to Me....

*I would like to thank James Kessack for his support. He was the first to send his comments! Thanks again, we hope you enjoyed the second part!!*

PLEASE tell us what you think (tell your friends!) (You're shameless Usagi)

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